EL “AQUALIMPIA”

Categoría: Reflexiones
Enviado: 2014-10-15 10:13

Enviado: 2011-07-31

A mediados de los años 50, recuerdo que en las ferias de los pueblos, e incluso en las calles de Madrid, se montaban unos tenderetes con figuras de escayola bellamente decoradas junto a las cuales se ponía un cartel con el precio.
Para hacernos una idea: se exponía un caballo al precio de 100 pesetas, una bailarina por 80, un toro por 50... y así cuantas figuras podamos imaginar de distinto precio y tamaño.

La gente se acercaba a verlas y, cuando el charlatán se percataba de que tenía suficiente número de curiosos, comenzaba con su discurso:
-- “Buenas tardes señoras y señores, bienvenidos a esta maravillosa exposición donde, como pueden observar, se trata de auténticas obras de arte procedentes de una subasta. Piezas únicas, con las que podrán decorar su hogar dándole un toque de distinción ya que todas ellas son obras de conocidos artistas. Así mismo, es el regalo ideal para una boda, una comunión un bautizo o un cumpleaños que les harán quedar maravillosamente entre familiares y amigos. Los precios pueden estar más allá de sus posibilidades económicas y, como no quiero que ese sea un obstáculo para su adquisición y como muestra de buena voluntad, al primero que levante la mano le dejaré elegir la figura que quiera a mitad de precio.”
Automáticamente se alzaban varias manos con la consiguiente bronca por averiguar quien había sido el primero en levantarla, hasta que el público, erigiéndose en jurado, decidía quien había sido el afortunado que, normalmente, escogía la más cara que solía corresponderse con la de mayor tamaño sin importar para nada la estética.
Acto seguido el charlatán, aprovechándose de la coyuntura bien calculada, anunciaba una nueva oferta.
-- “Como ya les he dicho éstas son piezas únicas y no puedo satisfacer más que una petición pero, puesto que no quiero que nadie se sienta defraudado, les ofrezco ahora no sólo una figura ¡sino dos! ¡A mitad de precio!”
Nuevamente volvían a alzarse las manos, se repetía el numerito hasta que el agraciado salía de allí más que satisfecho con sus figuras envueltas en papel de estraza.
Y así se iba repitiendo la operación hasta que se iba quedando sin existencias. Entonces anunciaba “el ofertón”.
-- “Señoras y señores es tiempo de irse y, como no quiero que después de haberme dedicado su tiempo se vayan con las manos vacías, les hago mi última oferta: sumando el precio de las obras de arte que me quedan el precio total ascendería a unas mil pesetas. Pero yo no les voy a pedir ni mil, ni quinientas, ni trescientas... por doscientas pesetas les ofrezco el lote completo”
Y aquí llegaba el maremágnum. Si los otros habían comprado a mitad de precio, la posibilidad de comprar a una quinta parte de su valor era un “chollo”. Y los “chollos” había que aprovecharlos. De esta manera el charlatán vendía toda su mercancía, los incautos se iban satisfechos a sus casas entusiasmados con su compra, porque no hay nada que sepa mejor que la fruta robada en el árbol y la sensación de haber engañado al vendedor.
Confieso que yo no caí en la trampa porque era un niño y no tenía un miserable duro, pero era tal la convicción que ponía el charlatán en sus palabras que miraba con envidia a los que se retiraban tan felices con su trofeo, pensando en lo contenta que se habría puesto mi madre al recibir semejantes regalos.
Esto ocurría, como he dicho a mediados de los años 50, pero hete aquí que cuando ya creíamos que la época de los charlatanes estaba superada aparece un tal Ramiro en la emisora “Onda Cero” vendiendo todo tipo de productos: desde cremas para adelgazar hasta detectores de radar, pasando por mariposas de musculación y, próximamente, algún crecepelo. Estoy convencido que Ramiro es descendiente del charlatán de las figuritas porque, lo curioso de su oferta, es que te marca el precio para a continuación advertirte de que los 50 primeros que llamen a un determinado teléfono, tendrán una reducción del 50%. Esto lo hace todos los días.
Y yo me pregunto: ¿habrá gente tan ingenua que lo crea?
Si a mi me dicen:”Lo siento, pero es usted el número 51"... les digo que me apunten el primero de la lista para el día siguiente.
Pero, después de ver como Rubalcaba tras siete años con Zapatero en el gobierno y 5 millones de parados, te dice que tiene la solución para el paro y hay gente que se lo cree... es que, definitivamente, hay personas que están convencida de que éste es un país de gilipollas. Para el que lo dude, como colofón, paso a relataros el caso que a dado nombre a mi artículo: “El Aqualimpia”.
El anuncio, oído en la misma emisora que mencioné anteriormente, se promociona como: “Aqualimpia de Mercedes”

Ignoro si lo de Mercedes es por darle una mayor relevancia al producto, creando confusión con la marca automovilística de prestigio, o Mercedes es el nombre de la anunciante. En cualquier caso expongo el tema: “Aqualimpia” es una vaporeta que simplemente con un litro de agua les deja la casa como una patena: Limpia, desinfecta, plancha, lava... yo diría que hasta cura la impotencia por el gusto que da trabajar con esa máquina. Sólo les falta añadir en su propaganda: ”Señora, si su marido no consigue dejarla embarazada, no se preocupe: Aqualimpia lo hará”.
Hacen una demostración en tu domicilio, sin compromiso de compra, la cual voy a solicitar al día siguiente de celebrar una fiesta para ahorrarme el gasto de asistenta.

Pero no queda ahí la cosa: además te regalan una vajilla, una batería de cocina y no se cuantas cosas más... encima te proporcionana un viaje para dos personas con estancia en hotel para un fin de semana. Por si fuera poco, si tu pedido se encuentra entre los 50 primeros, te regalan no uno: ¡dos fines de semana para una pareja, con todos los gastos pagados!
No indican el precio jamás. El mero hecho de que te permitan la financiación a "tropecientos mil" meses, te da idea de cual debe ser y haciendo el calculo del valor de los regalos más el importe de la publicidad, más el beneficio de la venta... estimo que el resultado debe ser similar al de una hipoteca.
Para colmo, después de una somera investigación entre los incautos que cayeron en la trampa, resulta que es una máquina pesadísima, de difícil manejo, que no cumple con la mayoría de las espectativas que pregonan, con una dificultades para acoplar los accesorios hasta el punto de que cuando has conseguido instalarlos... no te quedan fuerzas para iniciar la limpieza.
¡Ahora entiendo a Diógenes!
Es una vergüenza que se permita publicidad engañosa como ésta y otras tantas que podemos ver en prensa y televisión sin que se actúe contra el fraude: desde los concursos nocturnos de las emisoras de televisión, que tanto daño hacen en la economía de los más débiles, que por desgracia suelen ser los más incautos.
En aras de la moral se inició una campaña para acabar con los anuncios de prostitución: ¿Es acaso menos inmoral la propaganda fraudulenta?
Les presto la cuestión a “los Indignados” para que incluyan esta reivindicación en sus peticiones.
Permalink Comentarios (28)
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